Angel on my Shoulder one-shots
by Arakiisjogenius
Summary: A number of one-shots based around the comedic exploits of Izuku and Kiri and the misunderstandings that follow them. Based on "Angel on my Shoulder" by TealeafCustom with their permission. Contains strong language and minor sexual situations. This is non-canon to the original story.
1. Caught in the Closet Cliche

'How did this happen?' A mortified Izuku thought as the rest of the class stared at him with varying degrees of shock (Uraraka, Iida and Tsuyu), admiration (Kaminari), and horror/envy (Bakugo and Mineta).

Izuku was on his back stuttering and thinking of what to say about the woman currently cuddling into him as if her life depended on it. She had dark black hair that went to the small of her back and a figure that could only be described as the perfect mix of Midnight and Mt. Lady. Her skin was a pale milky white that was flawless enough to be the envy of any supermodel.

"I'm ssooooowwwwwwwwwwrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeee~ *sob* Iwuuuve you Izuku-u-uuuu~! I promise I can be better just don't leave meeee~!"

There being a girl on top of him wailing and crying her eyes out would have been embarrassing enough that he contemplated dying right then and there on its own, but aggravating the matter was that she was stark naked with her perfect rear in full view of all of 1-A.

* * *

(Just prior)

When they heard loud noises coming from the janitor's closet from the hallway, most of Class 1-A had expected something like finding a fallen student who had knocked something over. Being the good Samaritan that he was Iida Tenya immediately ran over to help, only to open the door to a sight that first made him freeze, and then _scream_ in abject shock, " **Izuku what the fuck are you doing and who is this girl**?!"

This reaction caused everyone to congregate at the closet door to see what could get the straight-laced Iida to swear like Bakugo, and everyone was shocked to see what looked like the local cinnamon bun breaking up with a nude twenty-something year old bombshell.

* * *

(Back to the present)

Izuku stared at his friends.

Iida, Uraraka, Tsuyu, and Shoto stared at Izuku (as best they could).

Mineta and Kaminari stared with laser-focus at Kiri's butt.

And Bakugo just turned around and walked away...

before falling over in a dead faint not making it five steps.

"What is all this noi-" Aizawa stopped short when he saw what everyone else saw. He stared for a minute, trying not to focus on the shapely rear swaying in front of him and got ready to close the door and walk to the principal's office to- _did she just promise to be a better little sister?!_

* * *

 _"_ I-I-I I can be a better imouto Izuku, just give me another ch-chance~! I love you Onii-chan!"

At this proclamation everyone finally exploded.

"DEKU HOW COULD YOU, WHAT IS THIS?!"

"MIDORIYA-SAN WHAT PERVERTED THINGS HAVE YOU DONE TO THIS WOMAN?!"

"GGGGGGggrhknidfSDVKOTHJSHOWYOUSONOFABITCH?!"* _frothes at the mouth_ *

"TEACH ME! TEACH ME YOUR WAYS IZUKU_SAMA! I BEG YOU!"

"MIDORIYA TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE NOW, AND SOMEONE GET THIS WOMAN SOME CLOTHES?!"

Izuku, after turning into a boiled tomato, finally reached the point of being so embarrassed he circled back into apathy. Pushing Kiri off of himself he stood up and a familiar lightning began to envelope his right arm. "Screw it, a broken arm is worth ending this," so he wound up a punch, and let loose at 100%.


	2. Meeting Kiri's friends

**Pussy Cats go Feral**

Izuku stayed silent, not knowing what to say. What could he say?

Kiri just continued to cuddle into his side like he was a big teddy bear. She was even wearing her clothes this time, thank God.

But… that did not make this situation any better.

The pussy cats were looking at him with looks he could not read.

( **Pixiebob pov)**

Pixiebob could not believe what she was seeing. When she had first heard of this 'Master', she had envisioned a man much older. Perhaps a man in his forties or so using Kiri to live out his sick fantasies of lost youth. What she did not expect was a young teen perhaps only sixteen years old. She had already crossed paths with Izuku and it did not go well. She had to stop herself from glaring at him. To think it turned out he was such a pervert; having a woman call him onii-chan and taking on the form of a ten year old.

 **(Mandalay pov)**

She was shocked to discover that young Izuku was the infamous 'Master.' After he had defeated Muscular and thawed Kota's heart, she would admit to liking the young man and thinking he would be a great hero. She had met up with him previously, to properly thank him for what he had done. She recalled that he was very naïve and innocent, and thought it probable he had never even kissed a girl before. But those thoughts were being disproven in front of her very eyes. She hoped beyond hope that there was an explanation for this that didn't mean she had slept with Valkyrie's boyfriend.

 **(Ragdoll pov)**

Ragdoll was confused. She thought that Deku was cute and naïve and someone she could snatch up when he graduated. Or at least until Mandalay had sex with him. Too bad he already had a girlfriend; Mandalay needed to get some more often.

 **(Tiger pov)**

Tiger kept a straight face, but was thinking very hard about this. Valkyrie came to Pixiebob about two years ago. That would mean that Izuku was only 14 when Valkyrie grew worried he would grow bored of her. Either there was a mistake, or he was _that **Horribly Degenerate.**_

 **(Regular pov)**

Izuku was very uneasy. When Kiri said she wanted him to meet some of her friends, he had no idea she meant the pussy cats. He already had a bad encounter with Pixiebob, but the most awkward part was Mandalay. She had texted one day to invite him to... _'NO! Izuku do not think about that! Kiri will know and-'_

"You had sex with Izuku-nii?" Valkyrie asked, directing her question to Mandalay.

 _'Oh sweet salty Christ, no'_ Izuku deadpanned in his head.


	3. Meeting Their Mother

**Meeting Their Mother**

* * *

Izuku could only watch in naked terror at the forming train wreck in front of him. His mother was still smiling warmly, but he could tell she was a moment away from freaking out. 'There is no way she could be this calm. She has to be about to freak out, mom always freak out,' Izuku thought fretfully to himself.

The reason Izuku was one-dropped-pin away from wet pants was the meeting taking place in front of him. His mother, angel that she was, had noticed that Izuku was much happier than he used to be. Granted, getting into UA and the introduction of Kiri into his life was a major ray of sunshine in his cloudy life, but Izuku's confidence had sky-rocketed lately. He stood straighter than he ever had before, he greeted her with a radiant smile, and he carried Kiri on his shoulder like a champion, the girl squealing in delight.

* * *

Any who…

Inko knew from her own days as a teenager that Izuku had found someone!

... and that the relationship was already rather physical by the looks of things.

Deciding to get more involved in her son's life she confronted him about it and insisted that she get to meet her future daughter in law. She had to browbeat the poor boy a little, but she was his mother, and it was time she got more involved in his life.

So here they were, Mandalay sitting at the dinner table across from Inko. How Izuku ended up inviting her was a stressful haze that made Izuku sweat, cry and stress-gag trying to recall it.

Mandalay, for her part, seemed slightly embarrassed to be meeting her boyfriend's mother. She smiled politely and chatted amiably with Inko, but her blush proved she was mortified to meet Izuku's mother in such circumstances.

So here they were, the ousted couple sitting side by side across from a surprisingly supportive mother.

The fact that a cute semi-imaginary vigilante was snuggled into her lap and asking for more sweets was probably a contributing factor to Inko's continued calm.

The little girl didn't know it, but currently her greatest power was acting as the 'still-my-baby' reality anchor that stopped Inko's universe from collapsing into a singularity focused around the fact that her son had an adult heroine as a girlfriend/ friend-with-benefits.

Izuku knew how tenuous the situation truly was however, as should Kiri so much as leave the table for a fork, Inko's mind could break and she would then proceed to cry, faint, threaten Mandalay's breasts with a garlic press, and/or the absolute worst case scenario: ask when she could expect grandbabies.

 **(AN: There is no cohesive way to continue from that last statement so here is a timeskip to after dinner.)**

 **"** Okaa-san, can I have some more yukimi daifuku pleeease?" Kiri asked in a sweet a voice she could while maintaining monotone.

"Snrk!/Oh Kami," were the respective responses of an amused Mandalay and a mortified Izuku, a certain memory coming to mind.

* * *

'Thank Kami, it's almost over,' was the only thing that Izuku could think at this point. Dinner was over and his mom seemed to like Mandalay, whom Izuku had walked to the door like a gentleman. Mandalay decided to throw Izuku a bone and placed a tender kiss on his cheek.

Izuku _really_ wished he hadn't instinctively pecked her on the lips in turn.

He threatened to catch fire when his mother cooed at the display. He was almost out the door to walk Mandalay home when super-powered smol-bean spoke up.

"Ms. Mandalay? I just thought of something," Kiri gained the attention of everyone else in the room. She was unusually bashful, like when she was with her onii-chan.

"Yes, Kiri?" Mandalay answered. She knew a little about the odd circumstances of Kiri's 'birth' and was relieved the little cutie was as young as she looked.

Kiri fiddled with her hands, refusing to look up at the older woman"If- If you marry onii-chan, can I... Can I call you Onee-chan? Pleeease~?"

…

Mandalay and Inko's eyes morphed into pink hearts.

" _Izuku marry me/her when you graduate!"_

 _'Kiri-chan, you have betrayed me. You don't know it, but you have.'_

* * *

"Well, what happened after _that?!"_ A _thoroughly_ interested Pixiebob inquired. She leaned forward like a child staring at a jar of fireflies. Ragdoll nodded furiously in agreement, while Tiger sat silently trying not to show his interest.

Mandalay continued to pet the head nestled into her lap. Her Kiri-imouto needed her rest.

"Oh, Izuku tried to commit seppuku with a lemon reamer."


	4. Gakuen Babysitters was a great anime

"Wan wan!" a big cheery dog barked as it marched through UA's courtyard towards the door. A tiny little girl rode on the back of the dog, laying down with a bento tucked under her chin and between her tiny hands. They came to a stop right in front of the doors, and the dog let the toddler climb down with the bento.

"Sorry Ko-chan, but I need to go forward alone"

The dog laid down and whimpered, wanting to see her master, but understood.

"Nii-Chan!" the toddler cheered as she marched inside, bento in tiny hands.

The hallway was full of activity as usual; students walking around, talking about classes, etc.

But the routine was disrupted by a short object toddling through the middle of the hallway. It was a little girl, who looked as young as _12_ _ **months**_ toddled forward with a bento box hugged to her chest. She had dark green hair, green eyes, and freckles smattering her face. She had her hair in two pigtails in the front, resembling bunny ears, and she wore a onesie that looked like a green All Might suit. Her wittle face was set in the closest thing a baby could get to grim determination.

"Whose kid is that?"

"How did she get in here?"

"Look at her little outfit!"

"She's so Kawaii!"

Ignoring the comments of the various students, she continued on her way. She paused at the sight of an older woman wearing what looked like bondage gear, and decided an adult was still an adult. Walking up to the woman's leg, she tugged on the thin fabric of her suit.

Midnight was walking hurrying towards her class, having been held up by a meeting, before she felt a tiny tug on her leg. Looking down she a-

"OH MY GOD YOU'RE SO CUTE!"

…yeah that.

"What are you doing here all alone?" Midnight asked with stars in her eyes as she tried not to explode from the cuteness.

The stoic child simply replied," Onii-chan forgot his bento," presenting the box in his question. "Where is Nii-chan?"

"I'LL HELP YOU FIND HIM!"

"… So I get the reamer about 2cm in before it shatters in my hand. In hindsight; I'm surprised I got it in at all. So anyway, that's why I was shirtless with Recovery Girl beating me with her cane," Izuku recalled the embarrassing story to his classmates. He had to sensor the inclusion of a grown heroine and tiny tulpa, but they got the gist of his mother meeting a lady friend of his.

The class was silent for a moment, before it was broken by Kaminari. "That is the greatest story ever." He said with no room for argument, it was simple fact.

"It is, it really is," Bakugo agreed with an unusual calmness, a slight grin on his face.

Mina and Ochacko giggled, both believing they knew the identity of this 'lady friend'. Before anyone else could voice their own comment, Midnight burst in with stars in her eyes.

"MIDORIYA HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ANYONE ABOUT YOUR LITTLE SISTER SHE'S SO KAWAII!" Midnight said as a smol girl walked in through the door she had opened.

"Onii-chan!" she yelled as ran up to Izuku and presented the bento to him.

Izuku acted on instinct and picked Kiri up and placed her in his lap and put the bento on his desk. "Kiri-chan I thought you were gonna spend all day with mommy. How'd you get here?" He asked in a practiced 'brother voice', poking her pudgy belly. Kiri just squirmed a little and cuddled in to her brother's chest.

"I made you a special bento and you left without it," she replied, her eyes closed as she tried to mold herself to her brother's chest.

"Did I? I'm sorry imouto," Izuku had no idea she made him anything, but he knew she was just so cute right now. Izuku ruffled Kiri's hair and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, earning a soft, contented sigh from the mental projection.

"Oh…"

"My…"

"Kami…"

Izuku looked up to see the entire class staring at him and his little bundle. The reactions ranged from shocked, to curious, to every single girl in the room staring at the scene with big dewy eyes of wonderment. ' _Uh oh'_ was the only thought going through Izuku's mind. At the very least Kiri looked more like him in this form, so the 'she's my little sister' excuse would work.

"Okay…" He lifted Kiri up by her underarms and presented her lion king style to the class. "This, is my imouto Kiri-chan. Say hi to everyone Kiri," "Hi," Kiri greeted in her usual monotone.

" **SHE'S SO DARN CUTE!"** Most of the class exploded.

"Look at her little pig tails, she has bunny ears!" Momo squealed in delight.

"Wook at her wittle outfit, she's mini-Izuku," Tsuyu cooed.

"Forget the outfit, look at her freckles, ohhh I love her so much already," Mina said.

"… **You have a FUCKING SISTER!** " If I need to tell you who said this, you have never read the manga.

" **KATSUKI!" Every** girl in the class yelled and sent him a look that made him shrink.

Saving Katsuki, a loud ruckus sounded from the hallway: A skittering of claws followed by loud footsteps.

Suddenly, a young German shepherd puppy ran into the room and jumped into Izuku's lap, giving puppy kisses to him and Kiri.

"Koko?!" "Ko-chan! I said you wait outside!" Kiri admonished the puppy, who gently nipped Izuku's fingers as he tried to tickle her ears.

The footsteps caught up to Konig, revealing a trio of female students. They were a girl with bright blue hair that trailed far past her waist, a girl with hair that obscured her eyes and resembled a mushroom cap, and a blonde half-American with horns.

"Where's the puppy?!" They squealed as one before spotting it and a teeny baby in the lap of 1-A's cinnamon roll. Squealing at a pitch that made koko cover her ears with her tiny paws, they pounced.

"Oh **SHI-**

* * *

"I don't believe it! This entire act of yours; the stuttering, the shyness, the cute things are just so you can get girls aren't they!" A jealous Mineta cried tears of blood as he throttled Midoriya by his collar. Izuku didn't respond, still in a daze from what had transpired.

A sleepy Kiri laid her head on a napping Konig, who sat in the middle of a circle of fangirling teens and midnight. Both of them had kiss marks all over their faces, as well as Izuku, who got caught in the crossfire.

All the boys had different reactions, highlights: Iida was trying to restore order, Kirishima knelt next to the sleeping babies, hands tucked under his chin and eyes wide in open-mouthed wonder, Mineta was being jealous of Izuku while Kaminari begged on his knees to learn from Izuku, and Bakugo just sipped his water with a contented look.

and Aizawa just stared at the entire mess in front of him and walked out of the room.


End file.
